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1. What Things On Your Resume Really Mean (5/8/2010)
   I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UP
2. Windows Support (5/8/2010)
   An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: I brought my Windows disks from work to
3. Inspirational Messages Not Heard At Work (5/8/2010)
   17. There is no I in teamwork. But there is in management kiss-up. 16. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
4. 10 Things To Say When Called To The Office (5/8/2010)
   1. i'm gonna kill her 2. s***, they found the body 3. where's my lawyer? 4. he's still alive? 5. they've got nothing on me 6. i thought i got rid of the ev
5. Consultants Commandments (5/8/2010)
   If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you d
6. Useful Work Phrases (5/8/2010)
   1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 3. I
7. Jail Vs. Work (5/8/2010)
   IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell. AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle. IN PRISON...you get three
8. 14 Reasons To Allow Drinking At Work (5/8/2010)
   1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down
9. S.H.I.T. Memorandum (5/8/2010)
   Memorandum to: all employees from: communications services subject: special high intensity training in order to assure that we continue to produce the hig
10. Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work (5/8/2010)
   Escapee definition: a fart that slips out while peeing or forcing poop in a stall. this is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. this i
11. Performance Reviews (5/8/2010)
   These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. (1) Since my last report, this employee
12. A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp (5/8/2010)
   A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little guy showed up at
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