20 Laws of Golf.
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20 Laws of Golf

These laws were given to me by an old friend who carried has them around in
his golf bag for, judging by the age of the paper (and his golf bag), decades.
True golfers should understand the words layed out here.

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This
law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to
extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your
worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of
people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven
in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the
greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the
tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners
must solemnly chant You looked up, or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as
an instuctor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate
golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works
against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in
your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a
football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent
-- or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All 3-woods are domon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same sleeve tend to follow one another,
particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law three)

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: Nice lag can usually be translated to lousy putt. Similarly,
tough break can usually be translated way to miss an easy one, sucker.

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who
beats you.

LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score
to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset
of the same day.
[Tag]:20 Laws of Golf
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