TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

--Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges.
--Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
--Always say Excuse me after getting sick in someone else's car.
--It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
--Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered
tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
--The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially if
other people are around.
--If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
--Always provide an alibi to the police for family members.