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Coming out of the shower i grab a towel and begin to dry my face. something
smells funny so i pull the towel off to investigate. staring me in the face is a
long, thick brown streak. my heart skips a beat as i realize i've just dried my
face in somebody's fecal matter. further examination reveals brown spots all
over the towel.
completely grossed out i jump back into the shower and scrub three layers of
skin off my face.
after i've finished i go downstairs, towel in hand, to ask my wife how this
could happen. how could she allow the girls the freedom to wipe their asses in
the towels?
oh, she said, that抯 not poop. there was a brown crayon in the dryer and it
melted all over the towels.
what? i stammer as relief floods over me. but then relief turns to
irritation. why didn't you rewash them? did you want to give me a heart attack?
i just scrubbed five pounds of flesh off my face thinking it was s***!
no, i just didn't want to waste a wash cycle washing clean stuff.
but, honey, i say slowly so she could understand, it ain't clean!
oh, you big baby, it's only crayon.
it's only crayon... i tell you, i wasn't even drinking but i nearly got s***
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