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The prostitute's lawyer addressed the court first, Your Honor, my client,
this lady here, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded by
a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the
defendant for a specific length of time for the sum of $500.00. The defendant
obtained exclusive possession of the property, using it extensively for the
purpose for which it was rented. However, upon evacuating the premises, he paid
only one-half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive since it is
restricted and exclusive property and we ask that judgment be granted for
plaintiff and against defendant in the amount of $250.00.
The defendant's lawyer, thrown back by what he had just heard, pondered
the opening remarks for a moment and stood to present his off-the-cuff version
of the case, Your Honor, my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece
of property, and that he rented such property for a period of time, and that he
even derived a degree of pleasure from the transaction. However, my client found
a well on the property upon which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and
erected a pump. All equipment belonging to my client and all labor being
performed by him. We allege that these improvements to the property were
sufficient to affect an offset of the unpaid portion of rent and further allege
that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the fair market rental value
of such property. We, therefore, ask that judgment not be granted for plaintiff
and that the defendant be awarded his attorney's fees and costs incurred in the
defense of this frivolous action.
The prostitute's lawyer replied, If it pleases the court your Honor, my
client agrees that the defendant did find a well on the property, and that he
made the improvements to the property as alleged. However, had the defendant not
known the well existed; he would have never rented the property. Furthermore,
upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the
shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged his
equipment through the well-manicured shrubbery, but also left the well with a
hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it easily accessible
to small children, thereby creating a possible danger to the health and general
welfare of the public. We, therefore, ask that judgment be granted as requested
in the complaint.
Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $250.00!
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