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1. I will put it on my floor (4/9/2013)
   Recently I accompanied Jeff to the credit union where he opened up his first bank account. While the credit officer was processing the paper work, I told Jeff he needed a safe, accessible place to store his passbook.
2. Meow star people go against human come to worship (4/9/2013)
   It's a common belief that over time pet owners start to look like their animals. Now comes the terrifying news that cats look up to their owners as role models and mimic their behavior.
3. The best salesman in the world (4/8/2013)
   `I'm sorry, sir, ` he said,` I was wrong about myself . I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.
4. A Short Holiday (4/8/2013)
   He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper `Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices .`
5. But my work is so big (4/2/2013)
   When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it,` I'm sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I'm not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I'll have to get back to you then.`
6. I£¬You and she (4/2/2013)
   Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: 1, You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said,` I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student.
7. I turned it over last week (4/1/2013)
   The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, `I don't think it's necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?`
8. Its Kind of Fitting (4/1/2013)
   As a freshman at the University of Dayton in Ohio, I was eager to make a good impression on my new roommate. When I arrived at our dorm room, I found her putting on perfume. `That's a great scent,` I said, making conversation.
9. A Speeding Motorist (3/30/2013)
   A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. `Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?` he demanded.
10. Three Men in a Boat (3/30/2013)
   Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
11. A family trip to Disney (3/28/2013)
   On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
12. Relatively new brain (3/28/2013)
   `You have your choice of two brains,` he told the patient, `For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.`
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