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1. Be Deaf (8/22/2009)
   Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents'. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs.
2. Coming Soon (8/7/2009)
    As a new federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers.
3. bifocals (8/7/2009)
   My husband is forty playing basketball with friends his age. `Pretty soon,` said one of his teammates, `we'll have to count it as a basket if the ball just hits the rim.`
4. Math was 't my favorite subject (8/5/2009)
    Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. `I teach math there,` I explained.
5. Record Will Stand Forever (8/4/2009)
    Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which I was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise, the coach said, `That record will stand forever.`
6. Contented Married Life (8/3/2009)
   A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, `My wife makes all the small decisions,` he explained, `and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's
7. I Wasn't Asleep (8/2/2009)
   When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: `Wake
8. Roll Up The Windows First (8/2/2009)
   The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
9. I cannot see it at all (7/30/2009)
    After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests.At this point the mother thought of something and said to her
10. Surprise surprise (7/29/2009)
    Don't ever pay a surprise visit to a child in college. You might be the one getting the surprise. I learned this the hard way when I swung by my son's campus during a business trip
11. Good News And Bad News (7/25/2009)
   `There's good news and bad news,` the divorce lawyer told his client.`I could sure use some good news,` sighed the client. `What's it?` `Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement.`
12. Dug the hole (7/25/2009)
    Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, `Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.`
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