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Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a
well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. Give me your money, he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, You can't do this - I'm a United States
Congressman! In that case, replied the mugger, give me MY money.
Revised judicial oath: I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the
whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed
regularly, and for the same reason.
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