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Big Family

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment,
my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight
siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of
us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our
entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children and this
luggage belong to you?''
''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're all mine.''
The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons,
contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?''
''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have
used them by now.''
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