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1. As an adult (7/2/2013)
   The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions.
2. girls died and was brought to the gates of heaven (7/2/2013)
   St. Peter asked the girls, `Before entering you must answer this simple question.` `Which is ...?`, they replied in unison . `Have you been a good girl?`, he asked the first girl.
3. But has nothing to do (7/1/2013)
   A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row: `Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?`
4. The rush of interrupt (7/1/2013)
   The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.
5. You must have to help me (6/30/2013)
   `Good heavens, man!` said the doctor. `Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?`
6. I will never come back (6/30/2013)
   A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: `This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds.
7. Will I meet her at a party? (6/28/2013)
   His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him `You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.`
8. Physical emperor quickly came to worship (6/28/2013)
   A bunch of great, DEAD scientists were playing hide-and-seek in heaven. When it's Einstein's turn to be the seeker, he counted untill 100 and opened his eyes. All the others were hide, but only Newton were still standing there.
9. I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins (6/26/2013)
   The nurse comes up to the first man and says, `Congratulations, you got twins.` The man said `How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins.`
10. Can't let him run (6/26/2013)
   The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. `What happened?` she asked. `You used to walk straight before we were married.`
11. How much is this thing (6/25/2013)
   An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
12. It will be to the newsstand to buy a newspaper (6/25/2013)
   A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
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