Steven Wright 08.
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Steven Wright 08


Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, Hello? And I said, Hello, could I speak to Joey?... They said, Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old. I said, I'll wait.

I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, Hello, Information. I said, I can't find my socks. She said, They're behind the couch. And they were!

Last week I bought a new phone. I took it out of the box, hooked it up to the wall... Pressed redial. The phone had a nervous breakdown.

I got an answering machine for my phone. Now when I'm not home and somebody calls me up, they hear a recording of a busy signal. I like to leave messages before the beep.

I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this [[[]]][[]][[[[. I go down to the pet store -- Gimme another ten guppies, I got a lotta calls yesterday.

I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, Hey, these records are all blank.

I got tired of calling the movies to listen to what is playing so I bought the album.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

[Tag]:Steven Wright 08
[Time]:5/9/2010
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