English Jokes - Really Short Funny Jokes

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English Jokes

1. Chinese and English (4/11/2011)
I'm an editor of a newspaper. One day a foreigner made a call to me. He said in Chinese that he liked our newspaper very much, which made me very happy. Then I said `Could you tell me some impression about our newspaper?`

2. I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a (3/21/2011)
Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car.

3. I was boarding my flight when I got pulled (3/21/2011)
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, `Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode.` I was then strip searched for my trouble.

4. Pigeon flying in sky (5/8/2010)
But baby pigeon said, I can't make it; I'll get too tired. His mother said, Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mi

5. Actors picking parts (5/8/2010)
A director is screen testing Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part

6. Trying to fix a clock (5/8/2010)
Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old

7. A man lost his wife (5/8/2010)
When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after he'd lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. We're sorry

8. Head goes to the bar (5/8/2010)
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But

9. An incredible inventor (5/8/2010)
He was an inventor of note. He created a big shoe with a phone in the heel. Now, he thought, he could use a phone whenever he wanted. He made several more s

10. Jewish anthropologist (5/8/2010)
A Jewish anthropologist, Benny Steinfeld, was working in the desert near Israel when he happened upon an odd looking vase. After cleaning it he pried open the

11. The very hungry lion (5/8/2010)
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was t

12. A contest and a bird (5/8/2010)
Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. So ... the one flies over and the other o

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