Writing home with ease.
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Writing home with ease


Dear Parent(s), Date:


I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us.


Please send me:


__ Money (Cash) Amount: _____

__ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _____

__ Clean clothes!


Relationships:


__ What?

__ I am in love with myself.

__ I am in love!

__ I am engaged.

__ I got married last weekend.


My Roommate:


__ Worships the ground I walk on.

__ Gave me a black eye.

__ Committed suicide and left a note blaming me.

__ Has fleas.


My Professors are:


__ Sadistic water walkers.

__ Mental institution escapees.

__ Brain dead nerds.

__ Super oxygen thieves.


Latest News:


__ I wrecked the car.

__ I can't use your credit card because I exceeded the credit limit.

__ You are going to have a grandchild.

__ False alarm--you aren't going to have a grandchild.


Food:


__ Is great!

__ Even makes me appreciate your cooking

__ I have had pizzas and soda for the last twenty meals.

__ I stopped eating out of fear.


Grades:


__ I am making all A's

__ I am not being properly challenged

__ I will be home after this semester

__ I never knew they had a letter grade below F


I study:


__ Night and day

__ All the time

__ Eighty hours a week

__ Only on Sunday afternoon

__ None of the above


Daily Devotions:


__ I read my Bible everyday

__ I can't read

__ Someone stole my Bible while I was at the local bar


On my last visit home, I left:


__ My glasses.

__ My paper that was due yesterday.

__ The clothes you washed for me.

__ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment.

__ Other ____________________________.


Please send above items by FedEx (Priority One) or UPS (Blue).


Laundry:


__ My white underwear is now _______.

__ I am saving money by not using detergent.

__ Don't worry, I washed my clothes last semester.

__ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains.


My room:


__ Can pass your white glove test.

__ Is only ___% full.

__ Could not be located last Saturday night.

__ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training.


Parties:


__ I don't inhale

__ I only go to meet people

__ Haven't been to one since this morning.


Hope you:


__ Miss me

__ Can live without me

__ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence


Salutation:


__ Your Daughter,

__ Your Son,

__ Yours,

[Tag]:Writing home with ease
[Time]:5/8/2010
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