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Musician jokes


Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, I can do that!


Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.


Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified.


Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.


Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.


Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

A: Because he's Haydn!


Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?

A: A Chopin Liszt.


Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A: A pair of Re-bachs.


Q: What do you call a male quartet?

A: Three men and a tenor.

<h3>Where are we?</h3>
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, Where are we?

Rachmaninov said, Carnegie Hall, sir!
<h3>What's that sound?</h3>
A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.

She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.

The local person replies, Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing.
<h3>Arriving in Heaven</h3>
Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.

St. Peter: Hi, what's your name?

Paul: My name is Paul.

St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?

Paul: 120K.

St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?

Paul: I was a lawyer.

St. Peter: That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?

Roger: My name is Roger.

St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?

Roger: 60K.

St. Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living?

Roger: I was an accountant.

St. Peter: That's very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?

John: My name is John.

St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died?

John: About $23,000.

St. Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?

[Tag]:Musician jokes
[Time]:5/8/2010
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