Answering machine jokes-Really Short Funny Jokes.
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1. Answering machine message 183 (5/9/2010)
    Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP
2. Answering machine message 181 (5/9/2010)
    (From a distance:) Hello I'm far very away from the phone at the moment and can't get to it to take your message, but I'll get back to you as soon as I get ne
3. Answering machine message 179 (5/9/2010)
    Hello? (Pause. Roommate's voice:) C'mon, Matt, we're gonna be late! -- Hold on, there's someone on the phone! Hello? -- C'mon, dude! -- Hello? Aaah, wh
4. Answering machine message 177 (5/9/2010)
    Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back
5. Answering machine message 175 (5/9/2010)
    Hello, you have reached 555-1234. Our voice mail system is currently experiencing difficulties, so at the tone, please type your message on the keypad using t
6. Answering machine message 173 (5/9/2010)
    (Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call. (Now, re-record t
7. Answering machine message 171 (5/9/2010)
    Please hang up now if you would want to speak to Johan. Otherwise, please stay on the line to leave him a message.
8. Answering machine message 169 (5/9/2010)
    Thank you for calling the Peoria Weather Line. (Insert appropriate weather report for the season here.)
9. Answering machine message 167 (5/9/2010)
    When the caller calls your number, as Steven Wright suggested, simply have your message be a busy signal!
10. Answering machine message 240 (5/9/2010)
    I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bot
11. Answering machine message 238 (5/9/2010)
    Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks, Who's there?) Isn't that MY question? (Pause.) Please leave a message...
12. Answering machine message 236 (5/9/2010)
    Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life. After the beep you can tell me how
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