Answering machine jokes-Really Short Funny Jokes.
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1. Answering machine message 231 (5/9/2010)
    In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife. (Heeeeee-YAH! Sound of smashing box of kleenex.) But this method doesn't work with a telephone call... (Dial to
2. Answering machine message 229 (5/9/2010)
    If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's s
3. Answering machine message 227 (5/9/2010)
    (Aussie accent:) Hi, how 'ya goin', listen, I'm not here, but I tell ya what, this anserin' machine is so clever, I kid you not, if you don't leave a message
4. Answering machine message 225 (5/9/2010)
    (Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence. I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream.) Oh no! Godzilla coming!
5. Answering machine message 223 (5/9/2010)
    (Noble, aristocratic voice:) Yes, one million dollars could be yours, IF you leave your name, telephone number, and the reason WHY you want to join the ranks
6. Answering machine message 221 (5/9/2010)
    Hello. Here are my answers to last week's messages, in order of their arrival. Yes. Maybe. At seven. You'll get it tomorrow. For sure. Get me that phone
7. Answering machine message 219 (5/9/2010)
    I am gathering the world's largest collection of responses to an answering machine. If you would like to help, please leave a notarized copy of your name, num
8. Answering machine message 217 (5/9/2010)
    (Strong east Indian accent:) Hello, you have reached the existential hotline of Ransheesh. I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which li
9. Answering machine message 215 (5/9/2010)
    I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe YOU don't
10. Answering machine message 213 (5/9/2010)
    I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am...
11. Answering machine message 211 (5/9/2010)
    As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering
12. Answering machine message 209 (5/9/2010)
    Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message! (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next l
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